In a world in which we lack absolute control, we often find ourselves wishing that things were different. Often we try to repress or fight harsh realities we face in hopes that it will grant us the facade of perfection or peace of mind. However, we will only find peace in accepting our authentic ourselves and the things we cannot change.

I have always been an anxious person. I find myself staring at the ceiling at night, unable to fall asleep, as my mind enters a never-ending thought loop: “I hate that I make mistakes. I hate that I am unsure of the future. I hate that others have hurt me. I hate that I hate these things. I wish I wasn’t anxious. I wish we were still friends. I wish things were different. I wish I wasn’t thinking about this right now.”

I used to repress these thoughts and tried to ignore the problems I faced. I used to lie to myself and pretend all was perfect and that I was happy in hopes that I would actually believe it. I thought I could run from my problems or fake it until the feeling goes away, but it never did. Eventually I finally realized that happiness rooted in lies will never grant the same satisfaction as genuine happiness and peace.

So, how have I been attempting to free myself from worry and the facade of happiness? I had to face my problems by accepting who I am, the things I cannot change and the future that is developing before me.

Instead of fighting unwanted thoughts or allowing them to become pervasive in my mind, I take the time to ponder on it. If it is something I can change, I accept the challenge and try to develop a solution. If it is something that is out of my control, I accept that I cannot change it, process that fact, and allow myself to move on.

I had to accept that friendships come and go. I had to accept that I cannot control the past. I had to accept that I cannot control the future in absolute. I had to accept and embrace these thoughts to live in the present and to find peace in the life I have been dealt.

This is much easier said than done. Stress has become a part of the human condition. Most of us find ourselves crumbling beneath the weight of stress. We worry about financial issues, work, relationships, health and so much more. It almost seems simpler to allow stress to consume us instead of facing it.

However, when we live in a constant state of stress, we are not only harming our mental health but our physical health too. Many of the leading causes of death in America are linked to stress. In order to find control in our lives and to maintain our health, we must attempt to find a way to cope through acceptance.

Although we may feel otherwise, we are capable of controlling our mind and embracing both the beautiful and ugly parts of our lives. When we embrace what life gives to us and find a way to live through the ugly, we are not complicit or passive, but rather, we are empowered.

Acceptance is not always the end solution, but rather, it is the first step in healing. When we accept our issues and faults, we are granted the ability to work on them. When we find ourselves running from problems on the hunt for serotonin, stress continues to live within us unconstrained.

We must ask ourselves: “Why do we continue to hold so tightly to the things that bring us so much inner turmoil?”

When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and fall apart, we are granted the gift of recovery and the opportunity to let go and move on.

You are not your thoughts. You have control over them. We must spend less time resisting, less time running and more time accepting in order to live presently and find peace within ourselves.